Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Twist Of Noir 303 - Richard Godwin

GROTTO JOE - RICHARD GODWIN

The witchdoctor came down the stairs coughing blood.

Beneath the saturated wall of graffiti, the shards of broken glass winked with menace in the lurid glow cast by the flickering strip light that hissed and fizzed overhead.

I’d never seen his scar look like that before. The jagged white grin in his flesh had turned golden and issued a strange surreal glow.

‘I hears yo can helps me’, he said.

‘How so?’

‘This man he’s been doing some tings.’

‘And what things might they be?’

‘Rape, murder, bloodshed, mayhem, he don’t like me, and he’s in disguise.’

‘Well, it’s an honour that you come to me.’

‘You’s the deal on this business. It’s Grotto Joe.’

‘A job’s a job. I’ll visit him.’

Down on second avenue where the winos spat at you as you passed, the line of kids to the grotto was like a trail of litter on the puke strewn pavement I waited and watched as the shoppers bought their ton of crap and headed home.

And there he was, Grotto Joe.

Fat and rotund and obscene as a dirty joke in church, clutching the kids and giving them a box of tat while he whistled.

I could smell him. He stank of piss and corruption.

It had been a while since that incident when he cut the lady in the shop, sliced her from ear to ear for short-changing him and he was doing what he always did this time of year, dress up and hand out gifts. Beneath the beard lay a world of lies.

People wonder what Father Christmas does the rest of the year, well, this one burgles shops and specialises in aggravated sexual assault on the side.

He ho-hoed and acted out the part of the dear old guy with the gifts and maybe had them all fooled but not anyone who knew what lay beneath the mask.

I waited until the throng had thinned and the last few stragglers were wending their way home and I went in.

He had his back turned and was removing the beard when he heard me and turned.

He was about to open his mouth and say something smart when I pulled my baby from my pocket. She’s as sharp as they come and I hit him right in the neck, a shower of blood opening up and spraying the grotto in some grim ejaculation that left him reeling. His reindeer were dripping by the time I’d finished. Beneath the boxes of gifts lay his rusting machete. Ho fucking ho.

So I scalped him while a slow drizzle pattered the canvas sheeting that hemmed us in and I took it home to the witchdoctor who looked down at it and said:

‘Dat father Christmas, he sure was into some bad shit.’

‘It’s a pleasure doing business.’

The drizzle had turned to snow. The streets were hushed beneath the polluted blanket it cast over the town’s corpse.

BIO: Richard Godwin lives and writes in London, where his dark satire ‘The Cure-All’, about a group of confidence tricksters, has been produced on the stage. He has just finished writing a crime novel.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Twist Of Noir 302 - Richard Godwin

QUICK KILL - RICHARD GODWIN

Do you wanna know how to commit the perfect murder in a few minutes?

I mean kill someone and get away with it. And what I’m talking about is guaranteed.

I bet you do.

I bet there’s some dark corner of yourself you hide from your wife and friends. It’s there behind the laughter and bonhomie, and it’s itching to find out how.

You do. OK.

I’ll tell you.

This is how it happened.

Duane and Al were two drug dealers who’d been doing some really bad shit. Now I’m not trying to justify what I did because this isn’t a moral court, this is the murder channel you’ve just tuned into and you know what you’re getting. Exactly what you asked for.

Everyone in the neighbourhood knew they raped that young girl and spiked some old man’s drink with drugs. And everyone wanted them out of the way.

This was around the time Eddy had been arrested for the robbery and the police had let him go, but he was worried about his prints on the gun they’d found.

It was a fine evening. Lovers walking arm in arm and I decided to do a little killing, so I stole into their apartment.

I knew Duane and Al were there cause I’d seen them go in. Now this is how it works.

I ring the bell. After a while, I can hear Al’s voice.

‘Who is it?’

‘I hear you can sell me something.’

‘Who told you that?’

‘Mick.’

I knew that would work.

There was a pause, then the rattle of a chain.

The door opened just enough for me to see his head and I popped him right between his narrow little eyes. Blood spurted out of his head, decorating the wall behind him and he fell backwards as I moved quickly, closing the door behind me and into the living room where Duane sat in his jockeys, watching the TV. As he reached for his gun, I sprayed the best part of his head all over his pizza. Man, that looked like some sauce.

Of course I used the muffler.

Then I put Eddy’s gun out in the hall and left the building.

I removed the cotton gloves in the car and drove back to the station.

I sat and talked to the Sarge until the call came in and then I went and inspected the crime scene with him.

I’m a real cop, do you get what I saying?

The best bit was arresting Eddie for the murder. Law and fucking order.

BIO: Richard Godwin lives and writes in London, where his dark satire ‘The Cure-All’, about a group of confidence tricksters, has been produced on the stage. He has just finished writing a crime novel.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

A Twist Of Noir 301 - Todd W. Bush

THE BACKSEAT VIRGIN, PART 1: A SOUTH FLORIDA NOIR STORY - TODD W. BUSH


She was called ‘The Backseat Virgin’ even though she was found in the trunk of a car, and probably wasn’t a virgin. Who is anymore? The press loved the label, and ran with it as they so often do in these cases. They’d been writing about it for well over a year and a half when it came to my door just off Flagler and 2nd. I certainly didn’t go looking for it, but find me it did.

I’m a PI, but contrary to what you might read in the pulps, we don’t solve murders. Want to find out if your wife is banging her tennis pro? I’m your guy. Need info on your husband and whether he’s getting his pubes groomed by a fruit down on South Beach? I can handle it. Lost kids stuck in the seedy side of the porn boom, lost money from a relative who flew south from Ontario and never came back, and even the occasional lost dog... those I’ll do. And don’t knock the pet thing, I once made a cool five Gs off some Palm Beach widow who couldn’t find her prize Pomeranian. The bikinis she always greeted me in at her mansion were enough of a payment, but I took the money anyway.

The Virgin was an unidentified girl who’d been found by some of the non-existent homeless in Sunny Isles north of the more famous celebrity-sighting hotspots. Our local mayors, in preparation for the big upcoming football game, decided that we went from a major homeless problem to not a single bum this side of Orlando. Amazing how that happens, huh? So these make-believe characters stumbled on an abandoned Mercedes E Class near the beach. Figuring that it might make a nice bed, they broke in, but the car smelled worse than they did. So they made an anonymous phone call and an hour later the police found her.

She was cut into between five and ten pieces depending on what paper you believed, and had been raped numerous times before being killed. Thankfully, the murderer shot her before the dismemberment, or at least that’s what the papers said. She probably wasn’t, but when and if her family was found, you didn’t want them thinking she had suffered. That always bothered me. She was raped in every hole she had for hours, but that isn’t painful at all. Just so long as she didn’t suffer.

The police tried in vain to find an ID, but she wasn’t clothed, and her purse wasn’t in the trunk or the car with her. She was a white blonde in her twenties, but there were thousands of those in the missing person files. Her prints didn’t match up, nor did her dental records. A reporter from the Palm Beach Post put a bare-bones article in his paper, mistakenly saying she was found in the car’s backseat. The ones out of Fort Lauderdale and Miami got it right, but the name stuck. She became The Backseat Virgin.

I got to know her from a girl who was definitely not a virgin. Lauren would never be cast as the ‘hooker with a heart of gold’ in some lame crime drama, but she was the real thing. Mousy hair, thin as a fence post and so jacked up on crack when she nearly fell through my door, I thought I was going to have a dead body on my hands. I did, just not Lauren’s.

She told me her name and started to elaborate on her situation, words coming out slurred and slow, like she’d spent too much time watching movies and knew that’s the way she was supposed to talk.

I caught her before she split her head on the faux marble floor of my office reception area. Wouldn’t have mattered to my other clients if she did; I hadn’t had any since the $5,000 Pomeranian lady in the thong bikinis.

“Whoa there, lady... lie down and let’s get you comfortable.”

She’d dropped wadded up twenties on the white floor, along with a condom wrapper and a roll of mints. Typical fare for a street walker. After settling her on a couch I keep for clients, I looked out the door to make sure no one was with her, then closed it. An accountant from Harvard was next door in my building. No need getting the blue bloods in a tizzy because of an unconscious hooker.

An hour later, she was awake, drinking from one of my cone-shaped water cups and chattering like a chipmunk.

“Thanks for the water, I really needed it. It’s fucking hot out there today,” she said. Her accent put her hometown somewhere in the farmlands of the Plains.

“It should be; it’s August.”

“I know, right? You’d think I’d be used to it, since I’m from here and all.” Her first lie of what I assumed was many more to come.

“What exactly are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m an actress and a model, or at least trying to be. Got a few roles in the last few weeks with a small... um... a small theater in town.”

Translation: I wanted to get into modeling, but got sucked into porn. It was common theme with the girls who wound up on the street in South Florida. “No, I meant what are you doing in my office?”

“Oh, sorry, not sure what you meant there. Sometimes my mind just gets a little frazzled. Ever had that happen to you? I get thinking about one thing, and it wants me thinking about another. Never can tell what kind of path it’s going to lead me on from one day or minute to the next—”

“Lauren?”

“Sorry, I did it again, huh? Anyway, I wanted to find someone who could help me with something I found out from my last... um...”

“John. They’re called ‘johns,’ Lauren.”

The brief flash in her eyes went the typical route. From fear, to paranoia, to shame, to a steely resolve that could only be earned in the passenger seat of a stranger’s car, not knowing what got you to that place, but knowing it was the only thing keeping you and your kids fed.

“You judging me, asshole?”

“Not at all. I just wanted to know why you’re sitting in a private investigator’s office.”

She took a couple of seconds to measure her response and my trustworthiness. Finally convinced, she let it spill. And it was a pile of shit I couldn’t even come close to cleaning up.

Lauren had indeed come down to South Florida from the Plains. Kansas, to be exact. After hearing too many Dorothy and Toto jokes, she magically became a Florida native. Rejections led to a lack of money, and the fall of the job market led to porn. She wasn’t ugly; in fact, she used to be pretty and at one time had a Midwesterner’s curvy body, so she attracted several shoots. But taking direction while her privates were exposed for the entire world to see, and being treated like an underpaid hooker wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, so she decided to try the real thing.

But a rotten agency owner took her money and sent her on her way to homelessness. I thought about correcting her, telling her that South Florida didn’t have people on the streets without a roof over their heads, that it was just an illusion, but it wasn’t the time for my brand of humor. Two months later, she was living in a shithole apartment with two other girls who were also street walkers. Denise from a small town in Georgia and Jessica from New York City. The three became each others’ bodyguards, going out to work together, and always having the other two’s cell phones on speed dial. In their business, you can’t just call the cops if some guy wants some beat down with his go down.

“Anyway, this was about a year or two ago. Jessica and Denise went on a call together. One of them had a regular who used to call once a month or so and get two of us to go play with him. I went a couple of times.” She visibly shuddered when she said it.

“You okay? Need some more water?”

That got a smile. “I’d prefer a shot.”

I obliged her with a cone-shaped pull of the Jim Bean in my fridge, then urged her to go on.

“So Jess and Dee went that night and never came back. Both of them had the problem, you know?” A discreet motion to her arm where a less-worldly soul might have seen acne was all it took. I’d been right, but got the drug wrong. Heroin; son of a bitch. “So I didn’t much worry until they’d been gone for a week.”

“What happened after a week?”

“By then, I’d found a couple other girls to split the room with, and we weren’t real close you know? I mean, we were friends, but...”

It was the life. Girls either wound up one of two places: jail or in the morgue. So making life-long BFFs wasn’t on the agenda.

“Anyway, Dee came by about a month ago. Jess had been caught the next day with some H on her. Cops said she was a dealer, but that was bullshit. Dee just bought as much as she could, right? So she wouldn’t have to go back to that part of town too often.”

“And Jessica?”

A single tear slowly made its way through the caked-on makeup on her cheek. I caught myself staring at it as she talked. The room was getting smaller by the second.

“Dee said she stayed the night with the guy. On account that Jess was braver than she was... hell, she was braver than all of us.”

“Braver?”

“Yeah, she’d try more weird shit. You know, taking it in the butt, all that?”

“Ok.”

“Anyway, so Jess stayed with the guy and Dee looked her up when she got out. Nobody knew where she was. Nobody’s heard from her.” Her eyes were reaching out for a hope I couldn’t understand or give her.

I leaned in on my elbows, willing her to keep going.

“I mean... she was a blonde, you know? Like the Virgin?”

Oh, boy, I thought. “Look, Lauren... uh... I know why you didn’t go to the police and all, but the chances that your friend is this girl—”

“It’s her, Mr. Price. I’m telling you; it’s her!”

“Lauren, please, call me Lee. I’m sorry to disappoint you, but it’s astronomical, really. The odds makers in Vegas wouldn’t even take it.”

I stood up and reached for one of my cards on my desk. She stood up, too, but all the fire had drained out of her face. I put the card in her hand and started to lead her to the door.

“I’ll look into it, and then give you a call.”

“You don’t have my number,” she said. The girl was bright, I’ll give her that.

“Right.” I ran back for another card and a pen. She wrote down a number on the back and slipped it into my shirt pocket. It was a move she’d practiced many times and she was damn good at it.

“The guy, the customer, aren’t you at least interested?”

“You know him by name?”

“Not by name, but by address. Just off Pines Bay, in Pinecrest.” Oh crap. Pinecrest meant one thing: money and a shitload of it. “The guy had a New York accent and every time I was there, he was getting calls from some guys named Jackie, Joey, and Benny.”

“Say those names again.” I didn’t want her to, hoping she’d made a mistake, but she repeated them. Separately, they were just names. Together they meant the Vasciano family, the second most powerful crime organization in South Florida. And they also meant trouble. Only two people in the family would talk to ‘Benny Baconator,’ Joey Trubone, and the boss’s son, Jackie Vasciano. One was the man himself, Vinnie G, which wasn’t possible because he lived on Hibiscus Island, and because I figured even a transplanted Kansan street walker would recognize Vinnie.

The other was just as bad. Salvatore ‘Sam the Tourist’ Calvante was the family’s enforcer and fix-it man. Problems didn’t just go away when he got involved; they disappeared. If he was the client that Jessica and Denise had visited that night, and if Jessica was the Virgin, then he was definitely willing and able to dismember a body. But, those were big coincidences and poking around in Vasciano family business wasn’t good for longevity, especially on the word of a heroin-junkie hooker.

I was about to hustle her out the door and forget the whole thing when she got one more word in. “Check the registration on the car... the plates.”

With that, she was out the door, on her way. I couldn’t stop myself.

“What about it?”

She stopped halfway down the hall and turned, batting her eyes. “The police never gave any info about the plates, remember?”

I didn’t, but I said I did.

“They were from New York. And the car was his wife’s before she got the Benz.” A quick wink and a shake of her narrow hips and she was gone.

*


I’d grown up in New Jersey, just across the Hudson River from Midtown Manhattan. The original area run by the Vasciano family was within a good shot off a metal baseball bat from where I played as a kid. I knew some of the kids who’d grown up to work in the business, even though I’d gone on to be a cop with the Broward County Sheriffs in South Florida. I left as a 21-year old college drop-out with two and a half years of school, an associate’s degree, and a burning desire never to see New York again under my belt. And I turned all that into almost a decade of undistinguished work with the BSO. I took my knowledge, my ‘Police and Investigative Experience’ bullshit that was on my resume and ads in the phone book, and hung out my shingle.

One of the many things I maintained from my days in and around the city was a friendship with Carmine ‘Little Minnie’ Trubone. Joey Trubone was his cousin on his father’s side and the one who’d recruited him into the business side of the family. CT, as I’d always called him, didn’t mind that I’d become a cop, and had even tossed me some work in my days on the narc squad. The fact that the guys I took down because of the tips were from his boss’s competition didn’t matter to me. A collar is a collar in police work, doesn’t matter who it is.

CT was sitting on his porch smoking when I walked up. A love of cigarettes was one of the many things we’d shared as kids, and now was no different. I lit up and he offered me a beer from a cooler near his chair.

“How goes it, Ash?” Carmine Trubone was one of the few people in the world who knew my given name was Ashley Price, and was nice enough to only call me Ash in private. It was the same reason I never called him Minnie.

“It goes. I need some help.”

“Well,” he said. “You coming to me for help? What, you doing contract work for the BSO now, looking for dealers?”

“Not exactly, CT. This one’s a little...” I couldn’t find the right word.

“You caught a tiger by the fucking balls, didn’t you?” CT always had a way with words.

I nodded. “And I have no effing clue what to do with ’im now that I got ’im.”

“What’s it involve?”

“A business associate of yours.”

“Management or a worker?”

“Management.”

“Upper?”

A nod was all he’d get in reply.

He blew smoke out of his nose and took a long swig off of a bottle of Brooklyn Lager. CT had his boys ship him down a couple dozen cases every few months. It was his favorite, and I had to admit, a favorite I missed from back home. He wasn’t about to ask for a name, and I wasn’t going to give him one.

“What’s it involve?”

“A girl.”

“Oh, come on, Ash,” he said. The cigarette sailed halfway across the parking lot and hit my windshield. I thought his aim was deliberate. “You know damn well we don’t give two shits who those guys are banging, unless it’s somebody’s wife, and even then he better be just as important and she better be pretty fucking hot.”

“It’s not who he’s banging. It’s who he banged...and maybe killed.”

That got his attention and he took another pull off the beer and lit another smoke. “You know the girl?”

“My client did.”

“You sure he did it?”

“No... not even sure he’s involved, except that he definitely did the banging,” I said.

“Then, let’s go inside and finish these beers.”

Fifteen minutes later, we were in his Range Rover on Biscayne Boulevard heading downtown. CT had the windows down, a cigarette in his hand and Bon Jovi blasting out of his speakers. And it wasn’t modern-day near-country Bon Jovi, either. It was mid-80’s big-hair Bon Jovi. From the ‘New Jersey’ album. CT was a walking, talking cry for the reinstatement of profiling.

“You gonna tell me who it is, Ash?” I could barely hear him over the guitar solo on ‘Bad Medicine,’ so I turned it down slightly. It was still too loud for anybody to hear us, but at least we could hear each other.

“You sure you want to know?”

“Yeah, might as well tell me.”

I hesitated and lit a smoke of my own. It gave me time to decide whether I wanted to put myself that much closer to death in a particularly nasty manner. He beat me to the punch.

“It’s Sam, isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Shit.” He was right. Shit.

He drove two blocks on Biscayne in the middle of typical downtown Miami traffic in total silence, which meant I had nearly ten minutes to think of a way to go back in time and take the name back.

“Lee... this is bad, man.” I got worried. Way more than I’d been a minute before. CT didn’t call me Lee unless he was really serious or scared.

“How bad is it?”

“Like we both might get it bad.”

“Even with your last name?” I said.

“That don’t mean shit when it comes to Sam, man. The guy’s nuts. What’d you find out?”

I had already decided not to give away Lauren’s name or anything about her. I just told him the basics, without any names.

“Holy shit,” he said after I’d finished. “The Backseat Virgin? Fuck, man, we made jokes after it happened at the club that it sounded like something Sam would do. I never actually thought... Fuck!” He beat the heel of his hand on the steering wheel.

“What do I do, CT?”

“The only thing we can do, Ash.” He’d used ‘we’. I was starting to get back the trust I’d once had for CT when we were friends, chasing girls and causing havoc in our teens.

I threw my cigarette out the window onto Biscayne as we took a left on 18th. “What?”

“We’re gonna go see the man.” He pulled into a parking spot in front of the Doubletree Grand Hilton, where Tony Chan’s Water Club dominated the whole bottom floor. A dozen black Lincoln town cars were parked and waiting for their rich and powerful owners eating and drinking inside. But the only pearl white one with a driver built like an NFL linebacker leaning on the hood cleaning his Glock .40 belonged to the man. I said what I was thinking aloud, even though I didn’t need to. It just made the whole situation more real.

“We’re going to see Vinnie Vasciano.”

*

Vinnie Vasciano looked out the back window of Tony Chan’s Water Club and seemed to be disappointed with the tremendous view. It was like he wanted something more than the clear blue sky, the gentle waves lapping at the white sand of Sunny Isles beach. He pulled at his bushy eyebrows. I’d heard it was a habit that meant he was in deep thought. I hoped it wasn’t over how best to dispose of my body.

“You sure about this information, Mr. Price?” It was the first thing he’d said since I started retelling the story I’d learned from Lauren earlier than day in my office. The only sound he made, in between bites of sushi and sips of very expensive whiskey, was the occasional grunt or soft cough. I didn’t know if he was listening or not, but I didn’t dare ask. The man feared no one, not even his biggest competition in South Florida who had double the men Vinnie had.

“I have no reason to doubt my client, Mr. Vasciano.” That was a lie, and I hoped Vinnie didn’t pick up on it. I had every reason to lie. My client was a heroin junkie whose only real source of income was playing strangers’ fiddles in their cars behind dumpsters. A real pillar of truth and honesty that one was.

He wiped his mouth with the napkin, downed the last of the whiskey and nodded his head. His two bodyguards stood as well. Apparently my audience was over.

“Mr. Price, I know of your reputation in South Florida. You came down here about the same time as my family, didn’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” For some reason, I felt like I was talking to a superior in the police department.

“You have an excellent record. Some of your cases have come to our attention. Nothing you’d notice, mind you, but rest assured that all matters were handled in a manner in which we were satisfied.”

“I’m happy I could be of service, sir.” I hoped my sarcasm didn’t piss him off. It normally got my ass in more trouble than I could handle.

“If this client of yours is correct, and Mr. Calvante is the one who is responsible for this horrible crime, then it is a matter that we’ll handle internally.”

It was like I was talking to a bureaucrat with a Fortune 500 company, not a man who’d ordered the death of dozens of people in the last ten years. My fear of Vincent Vasciano didn’t go away; on the contrary, it grew.

“Mr. Vasciano, I’m hoping that this information isn’t true. I wouldn’t want anything I did—”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Price. We won’t blame you personally. ‘Shoot the messenger’ isn’t an Italian phrase.” His laugh was like a baby’s rattle and bits of food splattered across the linen tablecloth.

I got up to leave, thankful I was leaving with everything attached and still in the right place. CT walked me out to his car and drove us back to his apartment. We didn’t talk until he’d punched the code to get through the gate at his complex.

“You know, Ash, something’s bothering me about that story of yours.”

I was taking a drag off my cigarette and nearly choked on the smoke. “Well, thank Christ you didn’t say anything back there when we were talking to Vinnie. I might not have walked out there with my balls.”

“Oh, it’s not anything too big. I still think Sam could be the guy. But, well, it’s two things really.”

“The first one is?”

“There’s no way in hell you’re going to listen to Vinnie and stay away from this. You may say you’re not the Marlowe-like private dick, walking the so-called mean streets and holding on to your humanity in one hand and a .38 in the other, but I know you. You’re not letting this thing go; you’ll follow it until you figure out what went down that day to that girl. Or at least until Vinnie threatens to actually cut your balls off. ”

I didn’t say anything to that. CT knew me before, and that wasn’t me now. I used to be so high and mighty, so full of the hunt of justice. But not now. Everyone wanted their local PI to be like the one they saw on TV, but I wanted to live more than I wanted justice. I had morals, but I didn’t let them get me killed.

“And the second, oh, brilliant Swami?”

“I’m sure Sam could have been into some kinky shit and all. But, hell, a threesome with two chicks ain’t that kinky anymore, pal. Everyone’s done that, you know?”

“Well...”

“Oh, man, Ash. I’ll set you up one day, buddy. Count on it. But that’s not what I was getting at. Sam has other... well... two chicks wouldn’t be what got him off.”

“What are you getting at, CT?”

“Sam’s gay, bro.”

To be continued...


BIO: Todd W. Bush is the writer of the South Florida Noir series. He has been published at A Twist of Noir and Powder Burn Flash. He lives in South Florida with his family.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

A Twist Of Noir Hits 300!

On June 11, seven months to the day that A Twist Of Noir's first story went "live" with Mark Joseph Kiewlak's WHAT A MAN WOULD DO, we hit one hundred stories, reprints and originals both, with Jake Hinkson's original SWEET DREAMS.

On October 7, with Keith Rawson's reprint of WHAT WE PRAY FOR, we hit two hundred stories.

In quite possibly the shortest turnaround I've ever seen, tonight, December 15 (at least in the States), just a little over two months since two hundred, we hit three hundred stories, with Robert Crisman's LIFE AND DEATH IN A THROWAWAY WORLD.

My thanks goes to each and every one of you, to the readers and the writers. Let's make the wait for four hundred even shorter.

Now, without further ado, Robert Crisman.

A Twist Of Noir 300 - Robert Crisman

LIFE AND DEATH IN A THROWAWAY WORLD - ROBERT CRISMAN

To reach old age in some kind of comfort, you have to plan to the inch.

Two days after the heist, Billy and Teddy made it out to the Old Man’s office.

The job had gone just as planned, same as the other four: quick in-and-out and no one got funny and no one got hurt. Had that not been the case, Billy and Teddy would not have come into the light.

They’d made it away with $212,000. The net from all five came to one million, six thousand dollars and change, all tax-free. A third came to the Old Man, who’d maestro’d the heists. The other guys split the remainder.

Not bad at all.

The Old Man called the meet as soon as he knew it was safe. A cop kept him abreast of what the police had come up with so far in their efforts to track down the heisters. Triple-X snaps of the cop and a 12-year-old girl that the Old Man kept in a safe-deposit box ensured that the info was up-to-the-minute and right on the mark.

The cops had come up with nothing.

John Mac, the Old Man’s right hand sat in on the meeting. Mac, around 45, six feet and a hard-muscled 225, had a hatchet that served as a face. He’d started off like these young guys, carrying the mail on jobs the Old Man mapped out. He’d been the Old Man’s eyes and strong arm on those jobs for 15 fast years, ensuring the troops and the money came home.

How good was Mac at his job? The troops all came home, the money did, too, and no one had ever been killed. A miracle, that; guns and nerves in these operations are a volatile mix. Mac on the job was smooth as a baby’s behind.

Guys like that come along once every one million years. And when they get old—and 40 is old in that line of work—well, what do you do?

The Old Man had helped Mac start a business, construction supplies, and kept him as a consultant on most other things. Meanwhile, he’d groomed Billy and Teddy to take over as arms and eyes in the trenches. They complemented each other; Billy was fire and Teddy was ice. Together they worked like a heat-seeking missile with brains, just as Mac had by himself.

Billy and Teddy regaled the Old Man with the in-and-out details of this one, just as they had the other four times.

Billy, blond, ruddy, 6’2”, 210 or so, took the lead in the telling. He acted the parts and drew laughs. He’d dance, bounce around, use flamboyant hand gestures and practiced inflections, stretching the story to cartoon dimensions. Teddy, 6’4” and lean, with a handsome, sharp-featured face and razored brown hair, grinning, bright lights in his eyes, provided Billy occasional steerage to keep things on track.

The Old Man laughed right along with them, in much the same way that a proud, loving father would laugh. He must have been close to 70 that year, a still-powerful man, his baldness accenting his power, his face, head, and neck, squared masses of muscle. His faded blue eyes in deep sockets were flecked with bright lights and looked ready to jump out and grab whatever it was that was lying around. Either that or smack someone down.

The light in his eyes as Billy danced out his tale, however—an almost anomalous softness peeking through crags.

Billy beloved son, loved the Old Man. As did they all.

“So, man,” Billy said, “we get to the pad and go in, 6:15, the cock ain’t yet crowed, or maybe he did, I wasn’t payin’ attention. So we’re in their whattya-call—” He looked at Teddy for help.

“Parlor or something. Had a piano.”

“Yeah,” Billy said. “So we’re standin’ around like the bandits we are, the old man comes down an’ sees us, stops dead, five masked motherfuckers with guns, an’ looks up the stairs, his old lady’s doin’ her makeup or somethin’, and he don’ know whether to shit, or go blind. So Benny makes up his mind, tells him, come down, join the party. Guy looks like he wants to shoot back upstairs an’ grab up the wife an’ the kids an’ jump out the windows an’ head for the hills or some fuckin’ thing an’—”

“C’mon, Billy, man,” Teddy laughed as he looked at his watch, “the bank’s gonna open an’ we gotta get on the road.”

Billy laughed and went on with the tale. The house they’d invaded, bank manager’s house like the others. Billy, Teddy, and Freddy would take the manager to work two hours early. Jack and Eddie would stay with his family to make sure that the manager followed instructions.

At eight, they’d go to the bank, drive around back, park the car, and go in. Freddy’d stay with the car. The other employees were already there. The manager’d give them the news and say, “Please, for my family’s sake, do what they tell you.”

The vault opens at 8:30. Billy takes the manager in and they fill up three sacks and go out. They bring the manager out to the car, blindfold his ass, and drive off, after telling the others don’t call the cops or he’ll die.

They drive hither and yon, turning this was and that, for miles and miles and miles. The car is a bit of a beater, swiped early that morning. At last they come to a stop. Teddy takes the dude out of the car and walks him into a field. He tells him keep right on going and do not look back until he’s counted to 1,001. And don’t touch the blindfold, my man. Your wife and your kids’ll live longer that way.

Teddy gets back in the car, the guy’s stumbling his way through the field, and they’re gone with the wind. They go back to the house, get their guys, tell the old lady don’t call the cops or her husband is dead. He’ll be back maybe by lunchtime.

They leave and drive to their car, wipe and leave the car that they stole, and go home with smiles on their faces.

The Old Man broke out the cognac.

When the drinking was done, he told Billy and Teddy to go back to their pad and stay there, quiet like mice, till some of the noise that the robbery’d kicked off died down just a bit. Like always, right? And get the word to the other three guys. The Old Man would call by next week and they’d all get together and divvy.

Five jobs, one mil and change! We all got well! A whirlwind year, we all got home safe! A few more like this and we’ll get down the road toward new lives.

After Billy and Teddy had split, the Old Man asked Mac, “Well, whaddya think?”

Mac shrugged, smiled, and said, “What’s to think, Jimmy? We’re home fucking free. They went through these jobs like grease through a goose. These guys oughtta just give us the money, save their wives freakouts as six in the morning.”

“Uh-huh.” The Old Man smiled and leaned back in his chair, hands behind head. “Man, that Billy. Somethin’, huh? Kid’s got boulders like you and me had.”

“Yeah, well. Teddy, too. Ice Man, you know? Kept Billy from going off like a rocket sometimes the whole fucking way. That’s big stones all by itself right there.”

“Yeah, true.” The Old Man looked off and away. “I’m gonna hate to ever bust this thing up.”

“Nah, Jimmy,” Mac said, “when the time comes, it’s time. Like we always said, the main thing is knowing when to get out. We get enough, have some fun, then go lie on some beach in the sun and ogle the girlies with smiles on our faces forever.”

The Old Man laughed. “Or somethin’ like that.”

Mac laughed. “Yeah, something like that.”

The Old Man spent the next week on the phone. He had real estate holdings, an import-export concern, and some miscellaneous interests he had to stay right on top of. No rest for the wicked.

Wednesday afternoon that next week the robbery’d been off the Six O’clock News for five days. Time to bring the kids out of their caves. He went down to the corner to call.

He came back ten or so minutes later, jaws knotted, lips tight, eyes burning.

“What, Jimmy?” Mac said.

“No answer.”

“What?”

“You heard me! No answer!”

“What the fuck—?”

“I don’t know what the fuck!” The Old Man had climbed straight to rage. He looked around the office as if he wanted to bust the place up.

He looked at Mac. His eyes were just a tad wild. Then he took a deep breath and plunked down in his chair. “This can’t...” He shook his head. “We gotta go out there.”

“Jimmy—”

“Man, we gotta. Who knows what’s goin’ on, what could be comin’ up on our ass? This ain’t right. I told ’em—”

“Yeah, Jimmy. Something’s happened. Maybe you oughta call Stanton. He can get back with what’s up and—”

Stanton, the cop who liked 12-year-old girls.

“That baby-rape cocksucker...” The Old Man’s jaws danced. He took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’ll call him now.”

He called Stanton and gave the address and told him, see what the fuck’s what, and get back ASAP.

Two hours later, Stanton called with bad news: Teddy, dead in the place, his head blown half off. Worse news: Billy, naked, throat slashed to the spine at the Ares Motel on the outskirts of town. It appeared he’d been raped.

The Old Man sat pole-axed. The phone almost slipped out of his hand. His face turned a dangerous red as he looked off at nothing.

Billy! The Old Man felt bombs going off in his belly.

Mac said, “Jimmy!”

The Old Man told him the news. He would not tell him that Billy might have been raped.

Mac stared in shock nonetheless.

The question of course: Who the fuck did this? Who knew?

There were other heist crews in the world. They hit the same watering holes, and even sometimes, this guy or that guy broke bread. Often they’d guess whose name was affixed to which job. And nothing was written that heisters couldn’t heist heisters. Still, no crew had ever come at his guys. The Old Man would know. And God save the jamokes who had fucked him.

So then who? Cops? Stanton? Heisters with badges had sure been part of the landscape—but not since the scandals and uproar back three years ago. That film of the fur job with cops riding shotgun had blown the department apart. The Grand Jury had spewed out indictments like shit from a cannon.

Not cops, for sure. And no other crew. So, again, who?

It had to be Eddie or Freddy or Jack.

All three? Two maybe? Or just one of the fuckers? Hard to see any of them bringing this off, or even wanting to try, but—it was them or bohos from some other planet.

Mac had a suggestion: separate the cocksuckers. Put them in three different houses all by their lonesomes. See what rolls out.

The Old Man had thought the same thing himself. He went down to the corner to call.

He told them that Billy and Teddy were dead and that something was up and that they had to duck. He sent them to old, beat apartments tucked off and away in dusty old shadows at town’s ragged edge.

The next three days were a blur. The Old Man stayed camped in his office, making plans for getaway day. Mac had to wrap his own business. They’d stay close by phone.

That third day, Stanton the cop who liked 12-year-old girls had more news: Freddy Mueller, age 28, and Jack Pafko, 30, gunned down and gone.

The Old Man called Mac from the corner. “Eddie it is. Cocksucker thinks we don’t know nothin’. Go out and fix his ass, Mac.”

That night Mac came to the office. “Prick tried to blow me away. I come in like grease through the keyhole, he’s out in the kitchen, he turns and sees me, his eyes go all wild, he snatches this gun he’s got in his belt, and ka-boom, I put his ass down.”

“Stupid fuck,” the Old Man said. “He knew you were comin’, of course.”

“Yeah, he’d’ve had to have figured that. But not how and not when.”

“Yeah. His gun. What was it?”

“Glock nine.”

“Yup. That’s what Stanton said, iced the rest of those kids...except for Billy.” The Old Man darkened. “That little bastard. He must’ve been plannin’ this forever an’ a fuckin’ day, the fuck. Goddamn him! What made him think—an’ then, he’s gotta come through you an’ me? Cocksucker was out of his mind!”

“No shit.”

“An’ how in the fuck did he think he was gonna get to the money will you tell me that? I—”

“Jimmy, you took him out there that time. You stashed it and—”

“Yeah, but he didn’t know—”

“He put two and two together, man. The kid wasn’t stupid.”

“Yeah, but...” The Old Man broke off and looked off and away. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, well, Jimmy. Who’d’ve guessed in nine million years?”

“Not me, looks like. An’ I should’ve.” The Old Man looked like a stone about to shed tears. He shook his head slowly. Mac stared impassively at him.

“I guess the thing now is,” Mac said, “what now?”

The Old Man took a deep breath. “Well, I guess, Mac, it’s you an’ it’s me.”

“Looks like,” Mac said. He deadpanned the Old Man and went out.

The Old Man deadpanned Mac’s back.

Deadpan and deadpan. Two masks. Stone masks. The world had exploded. Now all was shadow.

Anyone might be lying in that shadow, with long teeth to tear out your throat.

Oh, yes. Paranoia. The old man laughed, a silent laugh without humor.

He went out to the storage and picked up the money that night. He drove to the airport and met Mac there in the parking garage.

Mac sat in his Olds behind dark-tinted windows. The Old Man parked a couple stalls down and walked to the Olds. His footsteps echoed. No one else on this level at all.

The Old Man climbed in the car—and pulled out his gun and shot Mac three times, one smooth fucking motion. Twice in the chest. The head shot made sure. Mac slumped, eyes wide at nothing, all out of time. The gun he’d held slipped from his fingers and fell on the floor. Cordite and shit, death’s own smells, filled the car.

The Old Man pulled Mac away from the door toward the floor. He got out of the car and walked to the drivers-side door. His footsteps echoed louder than gunshots.

He opened the door and shoved Mac to the floor. He closed the door and locked up. Mac would keep maybe a month, as long as the ticket allowed; the dark-tinted windows would keep the lookey-loos out of his business.

The Old Man drove his car down two levels and parked. He picked up his briefcase and walked to the terminal from there.

He copped a flight to Houston that took off at two in the morning. A million-point-seven stuffed in the briefcase. He’d have his pet bank send every last dime to his offshore account in the Caymans.

Once in the air he lay back in his seat, closed his eyes, watched the movie.

The movie got stuck on the image of Billy. The Old Man had loved him. That last night he’d called, they’d gone to the Ares Motel off the strip and made love as they’d done there for months. Teddy knew what was up, but he’d hold his mud.

Stanton had said it looked like Billy’d been raped. The Old Man’s guts twisted. He would have cried if he could have. He’d loved that kid!

They’d made love and he’d cut Billy’s throat. He’d willed his mind blank as he did it. He left Billy there in the bed and drove to the house and blew Teddy away.

Two down, more to go.

The other three were a snap. Mac, though, uh uh. The Old Man knew that he’d patch it together once he got over his shock. No one else could have gotten up close to those guys. No one in life, except the Old Man. It didn’t take a detective to scope that one out.

But the shock of the thing, the fact that Mac loved him, just like the others—Mac would have to snap back from trauma before he took action. The Old Man had known this, and known also: whoever hesitates in this world is lost.

You have to plan, know your people, then move. Mac’s deadpan had tipped him. Mac should have killed him then deadpanned his ass.

Yup, know your people. The thing had gone ace-deuce-tray-bingo, as if God had planned it. And now, the Old Man was home free.

First, he’d offed Billy and Teddy. No use having too many smart dogs waiting to see what comes next. Mac was smart dog enough.

He’d’ve rocked Mac off first, but not at the office and, in the time that headed toward blowup, Mac was out taking care of his own, out of reach. And then, after Billy and Teddy, they’d had to call to keep contract. Can’t shoot through a plane.

He could have arranged to call Mac out to some spot on some pretext but—

Maybe he’d wanted to see what would fall out if it was just him and Mac in the trench. See if he still had his stuff a month short of seven times ten.

Crazy? Ah, well.

So anyway, Billy and Teddy. Then Freddy and Jack. He’d called those two and then gone to their cribs and put them both out of the picture.

He hadn’t worried that someone would see him. The places he’d put these guys in were all out of the way, out by the woods and the junkyards and stuff. He’d come late at night. A quick in and out and goodbye.

He’d come back and called Mac. It’s Eddie, man, fix that cocksucker.

He’d told Eddie first, It’s Mac, he’s out there, you watch your ass! He gave Eddie the gun that he’d used on the others.

Eddie, a boy made for framing. The Old Man had taken him out to the storage that time, and that fact alone had helped make Mac fuzzy, at least for the second the Old Man had needed.

Then, Mac vs. Eddie. A foregone conclusion.

And then the final event, and now Mac was at rest on the floor of his car.

Fucking perfect.

Except Billy.

On the flight down to Houston, the Old Man stayed scrunched in his seat, face tight with the pain that ghosts bring.

Billy... He had to fight for each little breath on that flight down to Houston.

He would have hoped to have Billy with him. Billy, however, would never have sold out his partners.

But he, the Old Man, had no choice. His business reverses, the real estate, the import and export—right down the shitter. Debts piling up, bankruptcy looming... He’d needed every last dime from those heists.

Every last dime.

And, love? Well, love passes. Only old men know that.

He’d seen lovers put lovers in graveyards.

At some point, Billy’d have told him, “Old man, goodbye,” and left him out there in the cold.
Nobody loves an old man in the cold...

The Old Man lay back in his seat. He smiled the ghost of a smile. His eyes kept on burning.
Something else a man better learn by the time he gets old:

There’s no one but you to keep yourself warm in this world. And for that, you map out the landscape, then bring what you need to keep the chill off you.

BIO: Robert Crisman writes crime and noir fiction. He spent 15 years on streets in downtown Seattle and has some idea of what really goes on in these realms. He’s had stories posted on A Twist of Noir, and some scheduled on Yellow Mama and Darkest Before Dawn. A movie he scripted, Chasing the Dopeman, is currently in post-prod down in L.A. and, with luck, it’ll be ready to go sometime this fall. He maintains a blog, chock full of stories, at 6S.

A Twist Of Noir 299 - Alun Williams

DIGGING HOLES - ALUN WILLIAMS

“You’re through to Summit Finance, my name is Dave. How can I help you today?”Another call. How can I help? Jesus Christ, I can’t help these poor bastards at all. I’m just digging the hole they’re in a little deeper.

My computer screen flickers and a name appears. I’ve seen it before. One of our regulars. She wants more money. I check out what she has as collateral. This will be the last time I can help her out, otherwise my boss will kick my ass.

“Hi, Candy. It’s Dave.” Candy tries to tell me her problems. She doesn’t want to borrow any more, but she has bills to pay. I think she’s trying to hold back the tears but she’s not doing too good a job. She says I have a nice voice. I do. My voice can charm snakes. I say she can have the check and tell her to have a nice day.

I put the phone down and look around. There are a hundred advisors here and we all have a story to tell, each tale more sorry than the next. We have quotas and targets and, like headless chickens, we dance around the screens, hitting buttons and achieving diddley-sqat to the well-being of the world, always busy, always doing nothing. It’s not enough, though. The war boards flicker and tell us that there are forty-three people waiting. The war board never lies. The war board is God in a call center. The war board is omnipotent and always right.

“Dave?” My team leader looks at me and glances at the war boards. I get the message. We all do. There are very little words of consequence spoken between the team leaders and the advisors. The team leaders speak in numbers and numbers is a different language to we advisors. We speak English, although section A deals in Spanish, too. There are a lot of Hispanics in LA who need us to dig their holes a little deeper.

I take another call.

A guy called Russell wants $10,000. I ask him what for. He says he’s behind in his alimony and unless he finds the money, he’ll be thrown in jail. I'd like to think it’s a better alternative. He has no collateral. I ask him how he expects to pay it back. He asks me to trust him. He‘s not from Planet Reality. I stop digging his hole. He swears at me and I really hope he has a nice day. I think jail will improve his prospects.

At lunch, the advisors sit together. We don’t talk much. I guess because we don’t have a lot to say without our headphones on. The war boards flash on red and we ignore them for as long as we can. My boss looks at me and smiles. He has spinach on his teeth. It improves his character a hundred percent.

I’m tired.

The afternoon continues in much the same way it always does. People trust us too much, we, us, just a voice at the end of a telephone call. They don’t know me but I know more about them than they do. I have their history all on computer, all of it, down to the last detail. By four o’clock, I have reached my quota of loans. I’m not able to sell any more today. Our managers, the suits, decide how much money we can take. Too much and we get canned, too little, yeah, you guessed it. I continue to sell, then decide I can’t take anymore.

I go over my crib sheet and study all my victims for the day. These are people who live in the city, my city, who try to survive each day without imposing themselves on others, people who just want to make it through to the Jay Leno Show. I deal with these people. People like Jonas Kite, a Vietnam veteran. He's 73 and in a wheelchair. We’ve given him $15,000, so he can live out his last years on a ventilator at the Sunnyside Nursing Home. He has a house which his relatives will find is not going to be wholly theirs when he dies. I hate my job.

I look over each and every one of these people again. My fingers move over my keyboard as I decide to do one good thing. I wipe their accounts clean. They are now in financial la-la land. Their holes are concreted over. In the morning, my boss will check my figures and have a heart attack. I think that’s the best option he has. I won’t care.

I quit.

I drive home and it doesn’t get better. The road is full of cars. Everyone drives here because they’ve forgotten how to walk. The sound of the highway is one of honking geese. It’s a language all of its own. Short staccato honks when we‘re angry, long tedious ones when we’re at a standstill. It’s all the same. I pass people digging holes with smiley faces oblivious to the geese around them. Smiles! It’s a sight I don’t see that often.

My apartment is surrounded by boarded-up shops and two bars. It’s not the high-class area I was hoping for. It’s not even good enough to be lower class. People who live here merely exist. There’s a one legged hooker, an old Polish guy who stinks of cat pee, and a young black couple who beat the crap out of each other every Saturday night. There are others, I believe, but I’m afraid to look, afraid of what I may find. I don’t know their names, I don’t even know their faces. I hear them occasionally. I hear their screams and I feel their hurt. Times like that I wish I had myself a woman. Someone who cares enough to shout, but I only have me. I only ever have me.

I eat a takeaway meal. It’s a great metaphor for how I live my life. Takeaway, throwaway. Basically when you analyse the ingredients, it’s all just crap.

There’s an old film on the TV, so I sit and watch Bob Mitchum shoot the bad guys. My dad looked liked Mitchum, more so when he had a drink in his hand. He perfected Mitchum's snarl so he could impress other women. They laughed at him. I watch the Monday night ballgame and a chat show. I don’t recognise anyone that’s on it. I hear that it’s a sign of old age, like when the cops look younger and the music gets blander. I don’t turn on the news. My life makes its own headlines and I don’t need to share anyone else’s hurt. Why should I, they don’t tune into mine.

I lie on my bed but I can’t sleep.

The clock on my wall says 1.35 A.M., my watch says 1.40 A.M. and I’m locked in in-between.

I turn on my radio and listen to a talk show and wonder why all nighttime announcers have that same lazy, languid style.

“Where would you rather be now?” he asks in a voice that is as smooth as a crème caramel chocolate. I look out at the rain and think anyplace but this.

“I mean you, Roy.” he says. “Yeah, you! Don’t turn me off Roy because we want to know about you.”

This geek does this all the time. He mentions a name and every Edith, Mike or Roy call in. Pretty soon, a row of flashing lights on his monitor will no doubt tell him that there are a lot of Roys out there and I thank the Lord that my name is Dan.

Roy from Tulsa says he’s rather be anyplace but. Another Roy from Tupelo tells everyone that he’s the reincarnation of Elvis and he’d rather be in Vegas. I listen and think to myself that there’s a lot of Roys out there and I try to recall any Roys that I’ve come across but I can’t think of any.

Outside, the rain stops and I think of life someplace other than downtown LA. It doesn’t help matters and I still don’t sleep. The guy on the radio plays a slow dreamy tune that sets the mood for the night. My life is held together by four walls and a dumb-assed voice on a radio station that only comes alive at night. Over the road, the neon light flickers every few seconds and illuminates my room. I’ve asked the landlady for new curtains and she promised to get some last July. It’s March now. Life is slow.

I read a book that I read last night and the night before and make a note to buy a new one. I think Hemingway’s a pretty cool writer but there’s only so much fishing stories a guy can take. I light up a cigarette and promise myself that someday soon I’ll give up another bad habit.

My life is full of those. A half-empty glass of cheap whiskey remains on the bedside cabinet from yesterday. I look at it and blow smoke rings. Another bad habit. I think of the lady called Candy and wonder what she looks like. I imagine her a little tired, a little grey. There’s still a little hope in her brown eyes. I think she’d have brown eyes. I know she has a soft voice and maybe she carries a little extra poundage. She has a nice home and I wish myself there. There’s a shout from the street below. It shatters my moment with Candy.

The guy on the radio asks if we know our neighbour. He thinks society is selfish and greedy and we’ve all become our own little islands. Very profound. I can’t recall many of mine, although I hear them often enough. I ask myself if that’s enough to call in but then I remember that I don’t have a phone. Most call handlers never have a home phone.

Life sucks. Night in LA carries on regardless and I wait and wonder and close my eyes and hope for sleep that never comes.

I live a long night.

The next day, I drive into work, past the smiley faces digging holes in the road. The geese are already angry. No one at Summit Finance gives me a second look. I sit at my desk and begin to cry. No one at Summit Finance cares a damn. I hear my boss call my name. Jesus, he knows my name! He knows my name! He comes closer, close enough for me to taste his peppermint breath.

“Hey, what the fuck did you do yesterday? You quit. You're fired!” He's confused.

I hear him call security, so I reach into my pocket and take out my gun. He won’t be eating spinach anymore. People scream, but I’ve only one more shot to make. They can dig one more hole for me.

I quit.

BIO: Alun Williams, 55. Born and still residing in Wales. Member of Crittersbar (writing under maxieslim), Zoetrope and Scrawl (writing as Maxwell Allen) and has had several shorts published in Write Side Up, Bonfire, Twisted Tongue, Skive, The Legendary and various others. Loves noir and Charles Bukowski.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Cameron Ashley's Entry In The Steve Weddle Memorial Airport Flash Fiction Challenge

AIRPORTOPIA - CAMERON ASHLEY

“Airports have become a new kind of discontinuous city, whose vast populations...are entirely transient, purposeful and, for the most part, happy.”--JG Ballard

Dean’s had a big head ever since they showed him on Border Protection detaining some Asian chick after a scan of her luggage showed traces of coke. He’s broad shouldered and old-timey dashing and his smile lights up the front of Customs’ Client Service Charter and Standards brochure, which is totally ironic because he’s a complete cunt to tourists.

Dean not only shits where he eats, he sleeps and shops here, too. He stays at the Airport Quality Hotel and only ever wears his uniform or clothes bought from duty-free shops. His self-help books on Verbal Judo and general big-noting techniques all bear airport bookshop price stickers. He lives here, protecting the country's borders from those too poor, too visa-deficient, too stupid to not use their drug-trafficking luggage when packing for an international holiday. He must be destroyed.

He sits next to me at the bar and says:

“I cavity searched some bloke today...well, I went to, but he shat his stash into my hand just as I was going in for a rummage.”

I say:

“The Yanks call that ‘Keistering.’”

“Yeah? I call that ‘disgusting.’ These guys should swallow their shit like normal drug smugglers. It's the 21st century, for fuck’s sake.”

A Tiger Airways plane takes off outside, Delhi-bound, I bet. An announcement about fluids and how they must be specifically bagged echoes out in English, then Mandarin. A line of Japanese students marches past the pub like goslings trailing Mother Goose. They all wear face masks. Huh. I thought we beat swine flu.

Kim pours me another Guinness while her manager is distracted. Free beers and a peek down her top as she reaches into the fridge for a Boag’s: this is my consolation prize for working in an airport McDonald’s. Yes, I spend my days flipping what is essentially the same burger over and over for transients who don’t yet realise that their Big Mac will taste the same here as it will wherever they’re headed. I am the downtrodden of Airportopia. The depressed. The fry-oil burnt and the perpetually smelling of pattie.

I want to raze this post-modern municipality to the fucking earth. To wipe the smiles off the faces of the paradise-bound.

*

The four guys all have shaved legs. They look like dancers but talk like wharfies. They’ve come back from Bali with a suntan and a bad touch of the ‘belly.’ A cubicle apiece, they void their bowels in intermittent spurts and curse the customs guy who both deliberately delayed their dunny run and insinuated that cyclists were fags.

I listen to their vitriol from the piss trough. With the closed cubicle doors between us, I tell them what time Dean finishes each night and from where he can be followed.

*

Kim’s got a broken arm this year. Me, I’ve got a concussion. I rest my head in her lap as airport staff fuss about. We do our best to look pained. It’s crash simulation day. Kim knows someone in airport management. Each year we help out and fake a different injury. We’ve been out on the tarmac so long I think I’ve got sunstroke.

Kim plays with my hair.

“Dean’s seeing a therapist. He’s got some kinda post-traumatic syndrome.”

“Fuck. Any news on the guys who jumped him?”

“No. Cameras got nothing. All he remembers is that their legs were silky smooth.”

Above me is the rising underbelly of a Quantas jet. It’s swaddled in cloud. For once, I am content to stay where I am.

I say:

“Did you know they test jet engine impact strength by shooting roasting chickens into them with a thing called a Chicken Gun?”

“You say the randomest things.”

“I think I’d like to do that. For a job, I mean. Fucking annihilate some chickens. Get rid of some stress, you know?”

Kim looks down at me and smiles.

“Psycho.”

Way off on another runway, a Virgin plane comes in to land. It looks like a toy. A guy near us feigning shattered ribs complains of dehydration.

“Kim, do you wanna...when we’re done here...would you like to get a drink or something?”

“At the bar?”

“Well, I was kinda thinking, maybe outside of the airport.”

“Oh. Well, Dean’s coming by the pub later. We’re having dinner at the Hightide Lounge. He...needs some company. He has to come back to work tomorrow.”

“Ah.”

Dean. Even in bloody humbling defeat, he wins. This cannot stand.

Fuck it.

Tomorrow I start calling in bomb threats.

Cam Sez: This one’s for Sarah and Jeff Storr. Usual thanks to C&C Quality Control. You can catch the rest of the stories in this competition here: The Steve Weddle Memorial Airport Flash Fiction Challenge

By Request...

...I am hosting Cam Ashley's entry in (ready for it?) the Steve Weddle Memorial Airport Flash Fiction Challenge.

That's a mouthful, ain't it?

Without further ado...

Friday, December 11, 2009

A Twist Of Noir 298 - Richard Godwin

THE BUTCHER’S DAUGHTER - RICHARD GODWIN

As the wheels touched down, the horizon looked bloodshot. Moses sifted in his seat. All that flesh, now if a bomb went off

The image of merged and mangled skin and organs was irrepressible.

The grass at the runway’s edge was burned to a distant yellow and the haze made the airport dance and sway in a welcoming samba. After clearing customs, he saw the brothers waiting for him.

‘We hope you had a good flight,’ they said in chorus. The effect was a little disarming.

‘Not bad. I could use a drink, though.’

‘Yes, we have water in the car. Come.’

‘I was thinking of something a little stronger.’

Either they hadn’t heard or didn’t understand, because they simply led him out through the teeming crowds to a jeep that sat unticketed in a no-parking zone in the sweltering heat. One sat in the back while the other ushered him into the passenger seat which felt on fire. Moses shifted, feeling the sweat break out on the backs of his legs and run down into his socks.

‘We go to villa now.’

‘Sure.’

The island itself was pretty enough. Unspoilt, apart from a small development just on the outskirts of the airport. They passed tiny villages with only a handful of houses and a single shop, fields, then more villages, more densely built up. Then, into countryside and a final peppering of houses.

The ride gave him time to take the brothers in.

The driver had thick glossy hair and hands that looked as though they had never done a day’s work. His brother looked just like him, with the hair swept back, and he had a scar high on his cheek just under his eye. A little young for this. One looked maybe thirty, the other nudging it. Their faces were innocent and implacable in their ready charm. He saw the younger one had nodded off.

‘Are you guys...?’

‘What?’

‘Twins?’

‘No.’ The driver laughed. ‘We look like twins?’

‘A little.’

‘Good genes.’

‘So - how about introductions?’

‘We’re nearly there.’ The driver looked in his rearview mirror. ‘He’s always sleeping. Big baby.’

They came to a side road, then a remote-controlled gate.

As it swung open, the jeep turned into an expanse of grass that looked too green to be credible. Around a corner lay some trees masking the villa. Moses could just make out the edge of a terrace.

‘I’ll take your bag,’ the driver said, nudging his brother awake.

Moses walked past the trees to the house.

*

It was a large old style colonial villa on a good slice of land. Olive groves provided seclusion, and an agricultural plot gave the impression of normal country life. To the side, a pool surrounded by a garden. Some fields and an old well, which looked deep. Moses dropped a stone into it and, after a while, heard a splash.

His room was one of six on the second floor. It was tastefully designed and well-equipped, with an ensuite and marble floors. The hallways were wide and deep, and throughout the villa, the trappings of wealth lay inside subdued luxury.

Alone, he threw himself on the bed, impatient to receive his instructions. He gazed at the ceiling, lulled by the fan. A few minutes later, he heard a knock at his door.

It was the older one. ‘You OK? Hungry?’

‘Thanks, maybe later.’

‘I believe you have some questions.’

‘Yes.’

‘We are downstairs.’

‘Sure.’

‘In your time.’

Make em wait.

Moses sat there, running over what he wouldn’t do for the price. It was high, but that unnerved him, given the lack of information.

They were waiting for him together with chilled beer. They conducted the briefing in the library, the doors firmly closed. The older brother stood, taking centre stage, while the younger one sat silently on the sofa opposite Moses, directly behind his sibling.

‘You are not what we imagined,’ he said.

‘Oh?’

‘No. We pictured someone with a long beard, probably because of your Biblical name. Instead, we meet a blond, clean-shaven man who could be an athlete.’

‘Problem?’

‘Not at all.’

‘OK, let’s talk.’

‘Yes. So, you see, we have a little killing to do. Is the beer cold enough?’

Moses nodded. ‘I still don’t know your names.’

‘You must excuse us - a hard day. Excuse, also, my rotten English.’ The man flashed him a smile. ‘I am Rodrigo and this, my younger sibling, is Fernandez. As I was saying...’

‘Who’s the mark?’ Moses said.

‘I see you wish to get straight there. Very well. Call him....a business rival. This,’, Rodrigo extended his arms, ‘was built up over many, many years by my grandfather and my father. They put in a lot of work. The Javez name is well-known in these parts. Am I speaking correct?’

‘Yes, sure.’

‘Now someone wants to take it away from us.’

Moses noticed Fernandez shake his head, then lean forward and knit his hands together. ‘Who?’

‘A man known locally as The Butcher. He has ruined many honest hardworking families, and we need to stop him.’

‘He likes meat?’

‘He likes cutting people up. There was a time when many business rivals of his were found dismembered, butchered, chunks sent in boxes like a piece of cake. He had some men, particularly brutal men, who did his bidding. They had what amounted to a small slaughterhouse, an abattoir specialising in the dismemberment and mutilation of his enemies, his rivals. Of course, men like that get others to do their dirty work.’

‘I need to know more about him than that.’

‘He is old.’

Fernandez suddenly stood up. ‘Don’t worry, he is now an easy target, past his prime,’ he said. ‘Many of his men are dead.’

‘So why do you need me?’

‘We hear you are,’ Rodrigo paused. ‘The best.’

‘I need pictures, maps...’

‘We have everything.’ Rodrigo removed a large manila envelope from the desk and slid it towards Moses across the coffee table.

Newspaper cuttings, a few in English, mentioned a man with business interests in farming and export. One article reported a contract killing and showed grainy pictures of two victims. A handwritten letter suggested an invitation, another, typed, a court case. A couple of black and white pictures, one of a lean young man with a knowing look, the other of an older version, the hair grey, but still thick.

Moses held up the second picture. ‘This current?’

Rodrigo nodded.

The Butcher had kept his looks and his physique remained athletic. He stood before the camera poised like a greyhound waiting for the hare. As Moses put the envelope down, he noticed Fernandez shake his head. He pointed at his watch and to the gardens, putting both hands up.

‘My terms are half now and half on completion.’

‘The full fee is already with your bank,’ Rodrigo said.

Back in his room, Moses flipped open his laptop and checked his account. It was all there.

These guys are players.

He left it ten minutes before taking a walk.

Fernandez was waiting for him at the back of the villa. ‘I hope you find everything to your satisfaction.’

Moses shrugged. ‘I’m here on a job.’

‘Yes, a job.’

‘What is it you want?’

‘Mr Moses...’ Fernandez looked over his shoulder and lowered his voice. ‘My brother did not hire you, it was me.’

‘I was contacted by both of you.’

Fernandez smiled. ‘Mr Moses, all our family business is run with both of our names. My father set it up that way so that we were given parity. Is that the correct term?’

‘Sure.’

‘Well, you see, everyone, from the baker to the President is contacted by both of us.’

‘Must be pretty hard if one of you is doing something the other disapproves of.’

‘Exactly. That is why you are here.’

Moses waited for him to explain.

‘My brother, for too long, has lorded it over me. He lives the lifestyle of a playboy, wasting the family money, and when called to account, sneers that I am a baby. I am not. And of the two of us, I have the business sense, not he.’

‘Look, my job isn’t sorting out sibling rivalries.’

‘But you are a killer.’

Moses looked at him and saw his eyes assume a baby’s innocence. ‘I kill.’

Fernandez leaned towards him and spoke in the clearest whisper.

‘I want you to kill my brother. That is the reason you were contacted in the first place. The Butcher is the pretext for you being here. I have organized this whole thing. You work for me.’

‘Doesn’t he suspect?’

‘His wild ways have deadened his perception of the truth. He has hated this man for many years because of a humiliation he suffered at his hands.’

‘What humiliation?’

‘Many years ago, my brother loved a very beautiful woman. If you had seen her, then you would understand. She could turn heads and twist hearts, breaking them like glass with her emerald eyes. She was why he changed, became the man he is now.’

‘What happened?’

‘The father rejected his proposal of marriage to her. The father was...’

‘The Butcher.’

‘Correct.’

‘And what happened to the woman?’

Fernandez shrugged.

‘So The Butcher is...?’

‘A decoy. An old man, that is all.’

That is not all, Moses thought. I know when I’m being edged out of the story. I tell Rodrigo and I could blow the job. And if I’m being set up? Something hidden here... its always there, the little giveaway sign, the clue that might save your life. What?

Moses looked at Fernandez again. All he could see in the hardness of the pupils was that he wanted his brother dead.

‘Tired of playing second fiddle?’ he asked.

Fernandez laughed, his shoulders rocking a little too heavily. ‘To him?’

‘Either way, it will cost more.’

Fernandez spat and wiped his mouth. ‘How much?’

‘Twice.’

Fernandez turned his back as he lit a cigarette. A puff of unfiltered nicotine caught the hot air as he faced Moses again, sizing him up, his hand raised theatrically as he placed the tip against his lips. As he inhaled, he narrowed his eyes, then threw his head back and laughed before lowering the burning end in an arc and tapping some ash from it.

‘I understand it is...more risky, that you are placed in a more precarious position, but twice as much?’

‘That’s the deal.’

He looked at the ground before extending a hand. ‘Deal.’

Over dinner that night, Moses observed them both. Just two brothers with a little suppressed animosity. There were no arguments. Years spent in casinos, lifetimes at the poker table had honed his ability to spot a bluff, but they weren’t showing anything Moses could put a hook into. Hates his brother, sets him up. It’s him he’s bluffing.

They ate dinner and then sat drinking cognac.

Moses took a walk outside. The countryside was both black and silent against the night. When he went back in, he found Fernandez sitting on his own.

‘I want all the money before I do it,’ Moses told him.

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Fine.’ No reaction, no hesitation. ‘Good night, Mr Moses.’

*

The next morning, returning from the pool, Moses checked his account again: the money had already doubled. He sat down in his room and started planning the hit.

It seemed straightforward: he would kill Rodrigo at the villa. It was secluded. No one else need be around. No one would hear. Things could be arranged so that it looked like an intruder. A quiet time was all that was needed.

Fernandez was taking coffee downstairs when Moses emerged from his room.

‘I need a few hours when no one is around.’

‘Except my brother.’ Fernandez lit a cigarette. ‘Tomorrow, between two and four, he will be here. On his own. I will be going out after lunch, there will be no staff until the evening. My brother will be taking his swim at around that time.’

‘How can you be sure?’

‘There is a business meeting during those hours. He was due to attend. I have told him I will deal with it. He is always complaining that I never do enough, that he hasn’t had the chance to use the pool for weeks, and greeted my offer with the comment that he will do what I do when he is working.’

‘Swim?’

‘His belief, not the truth. I work extremely hard. My brother overplays the hand of my laziness. He will be here.’

‘I want a flight out of here in the evening.’

‘I will take you myself.’

Moses spent the rest of the day familiarizing himself with every detail of the villa’s layout. He checked the angles from the terraces and which rooms looked out onto the pool. It was impossible to see the showers from the house. They provided the best cover.

And if he doesn’t take his swim? It will have to be inside.

The gate at the back of the villa could be broken to create the right illusion.

He found a crowbar among some tools in an outbuilding. A theft was needed, something Rodrigo would have on him. Moses had already noticed his ring over dinner.

A blood-red ruby.

He also carried a bulging wad of cash in his wallet. It was straightforward.

Except, later that night, after he had gone to bed, Moses heard them arguing. He didn’t understand a word they were saying, but there was hatred in their voices. The argument reached a fevered pitch, then suddenly fell quiet. Downstairs, a door slammed.

From the window, he could see Fernandez storm off into the night. He had blood over his right eye.

After a while, Moses went downstairs.

‘I am sorry if we disturbed you,’ Rodrigo said. He looked flushed, his shirt hanging out of his trousers. ‘Can I offer you a drink? A brandy, perhaps?’

‘Thanks.’

‘My brother and I...’ the voice trailed away.

On the table in front of him was a photograph. A stunningly beautiful woman in an evening gown stood next to Fernandez, her arm encircling his waist. He smiled proudly at the camera, his hand lightly touching her bare shoulder. Rodrigo handed him a glass.

‘I see you have met The Butcher’s daughter. The daughter of the man you are about to kill.’

‘How long ago was this?’

‘Last week.’

‘Your brother and she...?’

‘I had them followed. I knew. I have known all along, but I needed proof, do you understand?’

‘Business rivalry, family feuds.’

‘Oh, it’s much more than that.’

‘I need to know.’

Rodrigo took a deep gulp of brandy. ‘Many years ago, I loved this woman, too. She betrayed me.’

‘With who?’

‘My father.’

For a moment, Rodrigo stood there, staring through Moses, his eyes lost in some inner struggle.

Some family, Moses thought.

‘She has only ever wanted the money. It was shortly before my father passed away. I forgave him everything, of course, but I could not see what my grandfather had worked for go to waste, to let that whore steal it all. That is what The Butcher had planned all along. His estate is worth nothing, he has lost much money, and since he failed to snare me and my father, he has now set his sights on my idiot brother. He only has one asset, his daughter, and he uses her like a pimp uses his woman, to lure people into his web. He is like a spider, spinning away, trying to poison our lives. My brother’s head is turned. He neglects the family business, he lies to me, he does next to nothing, he takes on business appointments, then cancels them on a whim. She is The Butcher’s bait, nothing better than a common harlot. She hates us.’

‘Why don’t you just tell him?’

‘He is headstrong and naïve, and has never enjoyed any particular success with women. Of course, I warned him, but all it has achieved are these terrible fights. He says he loves her. He has gone to see her now.’

‘And you think by killing her father it will end it?’

‘I can work on her then.’

‘Win her back you mean?’

‘I don’t want her. She is nothing to me now. No, my sole reason is the family business, all of this.’
‘It seems improbable.’

‘What?’

‘That your brother feels nothing about killing the father of the woman he loves.’

‘He doesn’t care. He wants her all to himself. He is greedy for her, that is all. And a perverse sense of pleasure he gets in thwarting me drives him on. Is that the correct word?’

‘Your English is pretty good, but this is getting complicated.’

‘I would have told you before, but I needed to confront him with this first,’ Rodrigo said, pointing at the picture.

‘Which one of you commissioned my assignment?’

‘Me, of course. He is just a baby.’ Not a flicker.

‘I was under the impression that you had to act in concert.’

‘In principle, yes. In practice, little more than a matter of stationery and façade.’

‘What do you plan to do when he’s dead? Your brother will still be with his daughter.’

‘It will be easer then.’

‘How?’

‘She will drop him like a stone when she realises there is no money coming to her. I will make that very clear to her, trust me. And without her father to spur on, she will make it clear that she has no interest in him. She doesn’t love him. Her heart is like ice. I have lain with her and I knew that then. You can feel that with a woman, no matter how beautiful and alluring she may be.’

‘Well, I’ll take care of my end of the business.’

‘It has been going on for too long. Have you seen his watch?’

‘I noticed.’

‘Ridiculous. Encrusted with sapphires. No man wears a watch like that. One of her love tokens.’

Moses rose.

‘I will bid you goodnight’, Rodrigo said. ‘And apologies for disturbing you. I will see you tomorrow evening. I have business to attend to during the day, which takes me away from the villa.’

Upstairs in his room, Moses lay on his back, looking at the spinning fan.

This is too easy, Moses told himself. Nothings that neat and now the Butchers out of the question.

Eventually, Moses nodded off with the light on and was awoken by the sound of Fernandez returning. He sat up. There was stifled laughter from below. Two voices. The clack of heels on the marble stairs. He peered out into the empty hallway and caught the whiff of perfume, sweet and heavy in the air.

The next morning, he rose early. The water was cool and refreshing and no one was around. The house slept through the still morning. The only movement he saw was a gecko scuttling dryly across his path as he returned to his room.

From his terrace, he heard movement. He stayed there, shuffling his plans and the hand fell into place. Downstairs, the brothers sat drinking coffee. No sign of the woman.

‘I believe you have already enjoyed the pool this morning,’ Fernandez said.

‘I need to go out. Is it okay if I use one of the cars?’

‘Of course, but can I not deliver you there myself?’

‘Easier for me to go on my own.’

Rodrigo stood up. ‘I will give you the keys.’

‘Urgent business?’ Fernandez said.

‘You could say that.’

Rodrigo showed him the car, a blue Merc. Moses went back upstairs and waited.

Down below, another argument broke out.

Fernandez was remonstrating with something Rodrigo was saying in an imperious tone. Then the door slammed and Moses saw him drive off.

At one o’clock, he went downstairs. Both their cars were missing.

The maid greeted Moses with a smile and pointed towards one of the terraces. A table was set with trays of salad and cold food, some chilled wine and fruit. He sat down and ate on his own, watching a raptor swoop and kill a rat on one of the grass verges.

It stabbed at the flicker of movement with its beak before clutching and tearing the flesh, red strips of meat dangling briefly from its talons, the face comical, mischievous.

After lunch, he made his way over to the gate. He found the crowbar where he had left it under a bush. The lock snapped easily. He wiped it down and slung it a few metres. A snake darted out of the undergrowth where it fell. He could feel the heat move up a few degrees as he walked back to the villa.

The silence made it feel hotter and was broken only by the noise of the crickets. The sound of their legs rubbing together sounded frenzied, delirious, like some sort of indecipherable warning.
Back in his room, Moses packed up his things. From his window, he saw the maid leave. He found the number of a taxi company by the phone in the hall. Then he got his gun and made his way to the car.

He drove a few miles, passing the cluster of white houses that formed the immediate neighbourhood. He passed no one, only the rotting carcass of a dog by the roadside. Then he drove back, parking the Merc deep in some bushes a few hundred metres from the house.

Moses made his way to the back of the villa, finding it easily at the end of a narrow path that smelt of decay and animal piss. He opened the gate and pushed his way through the haze to the olive groves behind the showers. He checked for signs of movement, leaning against the harsh wall of heat. Then he pressed his back against a tree, thirsty for shade. His watch said two o’clock.

The unmoving trees blurred in the haze and the stillness became even more intense.

He waited, trying to find a rhythm in the rapid shrill clattering of the crickets’ legs. It was impossible; they drowned out time like a marching army of psychotic metronomes.

The sun was moving across the sky and the heat was taking over. When he looked at his watch again, a few hours had passed. After a while he heard voices, one of them a woman’s.

He shuffled his plans again, the deck falling from his sweating palms and scattering harshly on the dry ground. The heat was now invasive and overwhelming.

I wont be paid any more for a double killing. Only one way out of here.

Moses shifted his weight a little, noticing a thick web with a vicious-looking spider at its heart. It was watching him. Was it there when I first stood here? The web looked as thick as rope.

A sudden splash of water drew his attention to the pool. The playful noises of bathers drifted across the vicious, scalding heat.

The chime of female laughter and the soothing lapping sound of water breaking and rippling against the pool’s edge rose through the air, dying at the furnace that hemmed Moses in against the trunk of the tree which offered him a few metres of shelter. The bathers splashed around, laughing and chattering like holidaymakers.

Finally, there was the splosh of wet feet on hot concrete, then a shower being switched on.

Moses stepped from the tree into the wall of heat and moved slowly towards the cubicles. The gun felt as if it had become part of his arm, and it was now the only thing he could feel.

One of the cubicle doors was half open. Through the crack Moses could see two backs, a man’s, then a woman’s, the man’s brown arms were encircling her waist while she giggled.

Moses started to whistle ‘La Dolce Vita’. Its nuance interfered with the crickets’ march and their frenzied rubbing became more intense.

As he pulled the door gently to allow the angle, the rusting hinges squeaked. The woman turned and gasped.

She was indeed beautiful, her half-open mouth revealing perfectly white teeth set beneath emerald eyes, their whiteness the last thing Moses saw as he fired once into the back of the man’s head.

The impact showered her with that living part of her lover, splattering her lips with tiny fragments of him, like little pellets. Like she’s been eating pomegranates.

The lips twisted obscenely now like some gorgon talking to him in a strange tongue he couldn’t understand. She gasped, the scream stifled in her throat as her lover slumped to the wet floor, smearing a final brushstroke of blood against the tiles.

Then he fired again, almost caressing her with the gun, the bullet spraying her against the four walls like pink paint, the shower head still spraying down on them both. Moses switched off the water. Rolling the woman onto her back, he removed her earrings. It was her, The Butcher’s only daughter, and he closed her eyes.

Moses lifted the brother’s hands, looking for the ring, but it wasn’t there. He went over to the pool. He fumbled in the brother’s trousers, finding only his watch and wallet. He removed cash from it and from her purse, throwing them into the water where he left them floating. He removed the muffler and wiped down his gun before hurling it into an overgrown field. He dropped the muffler down the well.

Then he went back to the showers and dipped the cash in their blood, holding it with a rag. They lay there on the cold tiles, the brother’s arm encircling her waist, as if in some death tryst.

He shook the blood from the notes, decking the ground with it, and then walked back to the villa, where he placed them in the library. He went back outside and put the watch and jewelry in the glove compartment of the car.

Then he returned to his room and showered before calling the taxi.

At the airport, Moses made one call before boarding the plane, then watched the island get smaller beneath him and disappear. His whisky was deep and golden and he noticed with satisfaction that the seat next to him was empty. No bodies to step over.

It was some weeks later that he noticed the name of the island in a newspaper.

Rodrigo Javez had been arrested for the double murder of his brother and his lover.

BIO: Richard Godwin lives and writes in London, where his dark satire ‘The Cure-All’, about a group of confidence tricksters, has been produced on the stage. He has just finished writing a crime novel.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

A Twist Of Noir 297 - Katherine Tomlinson

PULP CHRISTMAS - KATHERINE TOMLINSON

I know you did it.

I know you killed your husband.

Most killers, they work on impulse. No advance plan. No exit strategy. But you gave the matter some thought. You’ve watched all the shows—Forensic Files and CSI and Nancy fucking Grace and you know that most people get tripped up by their own stupidity. But you, you were smart about it. The murder was what the profilers call “an organized crime.” And that’s kind of funny because one of the things your husband used to criticize you for was your lack of organization.

You showed him, didn’t you?

And you did it yourself. That took balls, girl. A lot of women would have tried to rope in some sad schmuck to do their dirty work. It wouldn’t have taken much. Not for you. Every man’s crazy for a redhead, wants to see that fire-crotch.

But you got good instincts. Get someone involved, make someone an accomplice, and the next thing you know, they’ve made a deal with the D.A. and you’re twisting in the wind.

“Twisting in the wind.” Ever think about those words, why they’re so pithy? The dictionary says the phrase means “abandoned in a bad situation,” but people first used it to describe the way the corpse of a hanged man twirls at the end of a rope.

They don’t hang people anymore. At least not in this state.

I know you did it.

I know you killed your husband.

The only question is... why didn’t you do it sooner?

I used to watch you together. I saw the way he treated you. Like a china doll. Like a pet. Like he owned you.

Yeah, you were arm candy and he had a sweet tooth. He liked to dangle you in front of other men like he was offering prime rib to a hungry dog. And not all of those dogs were tame. He wanted other men to envy him. It didn’t occur to him how much they’d hate him as well.

Not that he would have cared.

I know you know about the apartment he kept in Greek Town, the one where he took that cute little blonde from accounting. What is she? Twenty-one? Just barely legal and there you are, pushing...

Well, anyway, you won’t see 30 again.

The cops don’t know about the blonde. At least not yet. The apartment in Greek Town? It’s in his mother’s name. Good thing she’s dead, because she never liked you. Never thought you were good enough for her little prince.

Deep down inside, he never thought you were good enough for him either. And when you argued—and I know you argued—he liked to remind you where he met you, didn’t he? Liked to talk about watching you dance in that “gentleman’s club,” letting strange men stick money in your g-string, hoping to get the smell of your ya-ya on their fat fumbling fingers.

Sometimes when he said things like that, he made you cry. He deserved to die for that alone. A man should never make his woman cry, unless it’s with pleasure.

You played it just right with the cops. It was a genius move staying dry-eyed through the interrogation, but then letting them spot you “falling apart” as they left. You played the grieving widow well. Dressed in black at the funeral, you looked like a mourning angel. I wasn’t the only one who noticed how fine you looked. With that red hair. And that pale skin. You wore the diamond earrings he gave you for a wedding present. That was a nice touch.

I saw your brother-in-law clocking you out of the corner of his eye. You watch out for him. He never really forgave you for rejecting his advances that New Year’s Eve. Yeah, I know you claimed you’d had one too many Cosmos that night and couldn’t remember a thing the next day. But he remembered. And as the bible says, “He pondered it in his heart.” After awhile, it was the kind of memory he would take out and poke like a bruise, just to see if it still hurt. You be careful around him. He’s no friend of yours.

But I am.

I know you killed your husband, but I’m not going to tell.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart.

I’ll be coming around to see you after New Year’s. You can thank me then.

BIO: Katherine Tomlinson lives in Los Angeles where she works as a freelance writer and editor. Her fiction has been published in Thuglit, Astonishing Adventures Magazine, Acorn Newspaper and other print and online outlets. Her story "The Sin Eater" will appear in the January 2010 issue of Dark Fire.