Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Twist Of Noir 012 - John McFetridge


Summer squeezed the tube of KY into the bowl, saying you’d think you’d lube up each condom on its own, but you don’t. “You get it everywhere, a real mess. One of the first things I learned.”

Bobbi watched, saying oh yeah, couldn’t believe this chick was doing it right in front of her. She’d handed over the cash to Bobbi, somebody she’d never met before, in a motel room in San Jose, Costa Rica. Started pouring the coke into condoms right away, telling Bobbi she’d get over thirty grand for the kilo in T.O., and Bobbi said that was pretty good.

“Better than twenty in the States.”

She squatted like she was going to take a dump right there, already naked from the waist down, dipping a condom into the bowl, holding it by the knot she’d tied on the end. “This way you cover the whole thing with lube, but you don’t get it anywhere else,” and slid it up her ass.

Bobbi said, “You’ve done this before,” and Summer said, oh yeah. “You like enemas?”

“Never had one.”

“You never do anal? Make your man happy,” and Bobbi said, no, never, and Summer said, “I used to give myself enemas all the time, keep my weight down for meets.”

“You a cheerleader?”

Summer was sliding another condom up her ass and made a face, saying, “Please. Gymnastics. I won a silver at state.”

Bobbi said, oh yeah, and Summer said, yeah, sliding in the third condom saying, “But retail is different. You sell a gram in Canada you get maybe sixty bucks. In the States you get over a hundred,” and Bobbi said, yeah, why’s that, and Summer said, “Since the bikers took over Canada, the Saints of Hell, they control the wholesale market, tied it up tight.” She pushed the last condom up her ass and said, “And I know tight.”

Bobbi thought, shit, you don’t know anything, watching her walk to the bed saying, “I’m glad we met, your prices are better than Mario’s,” pulling on a pair of white Joe Boxer Girlfriend briefs and picking up her flight attendant uniform skirt.

“You going to sell it wholesale in Toronto or drive to Buffalo?”

“You ever been to Buffalo? The retail hassle? No, I’ll sell it in Toronto.”

“Yeah, but to who?”

“I got a guy, he’ll meet me at the airport. He can move a lot.”

She had her comfortable shoes on then, packed up her supplies, her condoms, another tube of KY, a pink vibrator and dropped them all on top of the clothes in her carry-on, saying, “You get a guy at customs, he’s so freaked seeing the vibe he just waves you through.”

“What about a woman?”

“She’s usually understanding.”

Bobbi said she could drive her to the airport and Summer said the hotel would be better, she’d catch the shuttle, “With the rest of the crew.”

“Anybody else carry?”

Summer said not yet. There were a couple of chicks she was going to ask, though, and a couple of guys, “Fags. They know how to handle the lube.”

“You’re going to expand?”

They were in Bobbi’s car then, driving through downtown San Jose, Summer saying, “Shit, yeah. Saturday and Sunday charter flights. Leave Toronto six in the morning, I’m home by nine the same night. I get a few more to carry, that’s huge. You can get the supply?”

“From Colombia, up through Panama,” Bobbi said. “You’re going to be rich.”

“Richer than lap dancing, that’s for sure.”

Pulling up in front of the Hilton Bobbi said, “What about those Saints of Hell,” and Summer said, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“They might hurt you, though,” Bobbi said. “They find out.”

“How they gonna do that, when it’s just us girls?”

Bobbi pulled around the corner, already on her cell, saying, “It’s just the two of them so far, her and the boyfriend, he’s going to meet her at the airport, take them both out,” thinking, yeah, this Summer never suspecting Bobbi was with the Saints. That’s how they took over, though, that progressive, non-sexist thinking. Tied the market up tight.

BIO: John McFetridge lives in Toronto and has had two novels published in Canada and the USA, Dirty Sweet and Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere and has a free e-book of flash fictions and short stories that have appeared in DZ Allen's MuzzleFlash, Hard Luck Stories, Demolition Mag, PowderBurnFlash and others available on his website: Tight is in the collection but hasn't appeared anywhere else.


Gerard Brennan said...

“What about a woman?”

“She’s usually understanding.”

Hah! Love it. Better nudge that copy of Everybody Knows This is Nowhere a little further up the reading pile.

Barbara Martin said...

Interesting stuff from another resident of T.O. Nice touch.

David Cranmer said...